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How To Win Admiration From Strangers

Winning admiration from strangers can be difficult task to undertake. First and foremost, a calm demeanor is welcome among strangers. People whom you pass on the street must see a calm and welcoming individual. Most strangers are well informed to “Not judge a book by it’s cover,” but without an intriguing cover no one will even give the book a second glance. The folks at the market or bookstore or on the street everyday pass judgment in just a few precious moments. Conveying the type of person you are without speaking in just those moments can be difficult to accomplish, but with a little work and some polish, this goal can become a realization. Many times the nonverbal communication speaks louder than any sentence you may say, because you truly only get one chance to make a positive first impression.

Of course, there are different types of strangers. The people you pass on the street, the people on the bus or train with you, and the members of the opposite sex in the bar or club are just a few of the possible categories of strangers. In any case, winning the admiration of any of these groups of people has particular techniques. While no one will fault anyone for trying to make new friends or meet new people, everyone has their own personality. While it is inadvisable to hide who you are, man of us are guilty of falling into a series of bad habits. These bad habits are not crimes, but they develop over time from gathering with the same group of people. After a period of time, every member of a given group starts to behave the same, with the actual group becoming the personal identity of the members. Many strangers can find the group mentality intimidating. Therefore making a few tweaks to the daily routine can result in altering a stranger’s perception of you. Remember, bad habits do not form in one day, so it may require a little work to conquer these habits. Here are a few ideas:

A Neat & Orderly Appearance

Dressing well and being well groomed go hand in hand with social acceptance. Before you ever speak your clothes and appearance speak for you. Be careful not to be too well dressed or well groomed, or you may stray into the realm of looking obsessive. Your attire can be neat and clean without appearing spoiled. This concept means putting some thought into your clothes and grooming by seeing yourself as others might. What may look nice to you, might appear too revealing or too stiff to a complete stranger. As a general rule conservatism goes a long way, but is always finely balanced with a touch of individuality. Avoiding designer labels and jewelry helps ensure your appearance remains grounded. The last thing you want your clothes & accessories to say about you is “I’m expensive and high maintenance.”

Empathy Shows You Are Aware Other People Have Feelings

Showing empathy in your actions while out shopping or even just walking is a great way to win admiration from strangers. Being aware that you are not the only person on the face of the Earth means yielding to strangers, offering your umbrella to a older person when it is raining, or pausing to pet a friendly dog. Allowing others to see that you are friendly and are willing to take others feelings into account will pay many dividends down the road. On the verbal front, when someone asks you a question be sure to break eye contact for a few seconds. In the few seconds you spend looking away, never look up as this will convey apathy to the question. Instead look to the side and take a brief pause before answering, this technique will show that you are thinking about the question and want to put some effort into the response. Obviously, do not take too long of a pause or it will seem like you are perplexed or confused. Also, remember this technique only works on open ended questions and not simple inquiries like “How are you?”.

Compassion & Courtesy Proves You Care About Others

Conveying a sense of compassion without seeming belittling is a difficult personality trait to master. Holding open doors for children shows a little compassion, but politely adding “In you go” or “Careful there,” will be the icing on the cake. In particular tossing the local animals a crust of bread from your sandwich will demonstrate that you are a person who appreciates other life forms and treats them with respect. Showing courtesy by thanking people, and remembering that “Umhm,” does not translate into a “Your welcome,” will not only prove that you have above average verbal skills, but that you have confidence in your actions. Taking the time to make that first impression as someone who has a soft side is important. Showing respect for others and taking the time to help them out can be extremely rewarding ice breakers to get that all important conversation started.

Confidence Lets Makes People Aware That You Know Who You Are

Walking and talking with confidence is a great way to intrigue strangers. Walking with your head up, sitting up straight, and waiting for the bus without leaning on the stop gets you viewed as someone who moves and thinks with purpose. Leaning or slouching indicate that you are disinterested in what is going on around you, while avoiding those poses will make you seem alert and pleasant. Never hesitate to show off your smile, even people you just met will appreciate a warm grin. Body language says a lot about a persons confidence level. If others view you as possessing a lack of confidence they are more likely to attempt to take advantage of you; whereas, if you seem alert and aware of your surroundings folks are more likely to ask directions, buy you a drink, or ask for a dance. Confidence can be one of the most sexy personality traits you can have.

Neutrality Reflects An Open Mind

The last type of person anyone wants to meet is an opinionated person with their head in the clouds. Seeming open to new things is difficult to convey in a nonverbal mode, but can be accomplished by controlling your facial reactions to different things. On many occasions people will do things that will shock & surprise you, and to not seem judgmental with your facial expressions or body language takes a fair bit of preparation. Reading signs or looking at advertisements almost always causes some sort of facial reaction. Rolling of the eyes is one of the most uncontrollable reflexes that demonstrates a closed mind, practice controlling these tells. Remember, even when you think no one is watching, they probably are. So exercise self control whenever out in public.

It’s Not Necessarily What You Say, But How You Say It

Tone of voice is especially important when speaking to strangers. Talk to loudly and it will seem like you are yelling, and talk to softly and no one will be able to hear you. The pitch and tone of your voice is sometimes much more important than what is actually being said. A friendly and conversational tone lets strangers know that you are confident and an able communicator. Be sure your natural tone is not too loud or too soft by practicing with friends or even pets. This idea can be tough for some people to get a handle on, because if you sound too soft it will seem like you are baby talking.

While these items will help endear you into the hearts of many people, becoming a well rounded person is the best idea to enhance your appeal to strangers. Transforming who you are is a difficult process that comes with effort and desire. Just like anything else in life, you have to want it badly enough to make conscious choices that affect several different aspects of daily life. The best way to succeed in becoming a better person is to make small changes and adjustments over a period of time. Many folks do not give any passers by any notice, but acknowledging them by wishing them a pleasant day is a great place to start.

Winning the admiration of strangers is a form of social acceptance. In order for others to accept you, you must first accept yourself. All of the topics from tone of voice, staying neutral, having confidence, and presenting a great appearance are all enviable traits. When people see a little of themselves in you, it is just like having something in common. Finding a little bit of common ground is a way for people to notice and appreciate who you are. Granted some people are born with a natural ability to attract people, but all of these abilities can be gained by just about anyone who is willing to put in the time and work to become someone that makes people say to themselves, “Now, there is someone who has got it together.”

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