It would be hard to imagine a world without love. In fact, the thought might fill the minds of some with terror. How many more wars would be started? What other problems could be expected? Thankfully, it is not likely to disappear from the human mind anytime in the near future.
Love comes in many forms; from enjoying a plate of spaghetti to a marathon of scary movies, there are certain things that bring great joy into the lives of individuals. Marriage is, of course, one of them. For those who believe they have found that special someone, taking that first step into the rest of their lives may seem overwhelming. But proposing does not have to be difficult. In fact, with the proper planning it may feel like a breeze.
How To Know You’re Ready
Nobody should ever feel obligated to propose. Before popping the question, first ask yourself if you are ready to make that move.
- Your friends approve of them. In the past, the people closest to you most likely let you know frequently when they did not like the person you were dating. Perhaps they threw in a few hints while you enjoyed lunch together at the local diner. Maybe you received an email or two that stated right out that they thought you were making a mistake. It probably was not always welcome, but you came to understand that they were only showing concern for your well-being. When the right person has come along, your friends will be fine with your choice; they may even ask when you plan to take the relationship to the next level. Take this as a sign that you have come to the right decision about your girlfriend or boyfriend.
- Your sweetheart’s family feels like they are an extended part of your own. You have attended countless events with these people; birthday parties, holiday dinners, barbecues, family reunions, vacations, and so on. You have met your special someone’s parents, and they have met yours. All this time spent together makes you feel like you have perhaps always known them; like they were the missing relatives you never knew were lost. There is no need to panic, as this is a good thing. When you find yourself unable to picture life without them and your love, there are only so many directions you can head in.
- The little things about them do not annoy you. Chances are high that in past relationships there was personality incidents that made you frustrated. It could be that your boyfriend or girlfriend had a rather loud way of chewing their food, made worse when the atmosphere was otherwise quiet. They left their shoes in the middle of the hallway, causing you to trip over them on a regular basis. All of these things, gathered together, just made you want to scream. But if you find yourself laughing it off, or even believing it cute, you may have found the one.
- You know that they are ready and willing to be proposed to, and are fine with it. Some people drop clues when they want that lifelong commitment. When others attempted to do this to you, it may have set off red flags, making you want to flee into the hills or hide. But with this person, you feel as though you should not stop them; in fact, you do not want them to stop. The idea of marrying them does not fill you with dread, but a kind of happiness and excitement.
How To Mentally Prepare
Now that you know that you are ready, and the time is right, it is important to prepare yourself mentally and otherwise.
- Realize that they may not say yes right off the bat. This may seem like a heartbreaking concept, but try to put yourself in their shoes. This is a huge decision, and making it hastily could be something that they would rather avoid. Should this happen, be prepared to shrug it off; give them space and do not rush them to provide an answer. They will get back to you eventually, and there is no reason to play the worst case scenario in your mind.
- Know that sometimes the right time to propose has not come yet. A number of individuals make the mistake of wishing for marriage too early in a relationship. After all, the couple has barely had enough time to really get to know each other, let alone decide to tie the knot. This does not mean that it could not happen, but proposing two months into a relationship could lead to ill feelings and other problems. Your lover may be frightened off or even angry, and that is not something that you want.
Herein rests the fun part. There are countless fun and creative ways that you can proclaim your love; below are just a few of them to take under consideration for future use.
- If the time has come to take a vacation near the beach, use this to your advantage. For one thing, you could spell out your proposal in the sand with shells. Invite them for a walk, having prepared your message ahead of time, and lead them to the special spot. You could also place the message on a toy such as a beach ball, requesting that they blow it up to find a surprise.
- If you dwell in an apartment building, consider contacting your fellow tenants. Let them know that you plan to propose to someone, and ask if they would be willing to assist. You may want to bribe them with cookies and other treats, and also behave in a manner that is appropriate. In order for this idea to work, you must have the willing cooperation of everyone. Have each selected neighbor leave their lights on, and bring your beloved outside. The excuse can be anything from running errands to spotting a friend on the street. If done right, the message in lights should spell out “Would you marry me?”
- Put together a special meal one night, set aside for just the two of you and nobody else. For dessert, prepare a cake with your message written out in frosting; do not leave it out in the open. Obscure it somehow in your refrigerator or another place where they would not be likely to find it, or else the surprise would not work out. If you do not believe that you have the skills for making a cake, it is perfectly fine to pick it up from a bakery. Once your date is in a relaxed state, full from the meal, bring out the delight for them to see.
- If the above suggestions do not get you going, try going to the movies. The ad space that plays across the screen before a movie starts can be used to your advantage. To do it, call up the theater and ask to rent a space for your big question. Make certain that you and your date arrive to see it when it will be up, or all that effort will have been for nothing. When the intended individual sees the message, get down on one knee and finish the deal.
- Send them a love letter. Some people are simply too shy to speak those words in person or in public, and for them this is the next best thing. You do not need to spend weeks studying books on poetry and the like, as the letter should not be too lengthy or complicated. Do not try too hard, simply write from the heart and you will not be able to go wrong. Use fancy paper and your best handwriting, placing the letter inside an envelope with a seal of your choosing. Do not forget to put in your proposal at the end.
- You may not believe that your enthusiasm for an mp3 player and other such devices could be utilized for anything, but you would be mistaken. All you need to do is put together a podcast or song featuring your proposal, slipping it onto their personal mp3 player when they are not around to see. If you are not sure of how to do that, there are many places online where such questions can be asked. The World Wide Web is a big place, and thus there is no shortage of experts on almost any subject one could imagine.
- If you are looking to propose around the holiday season, consider writing your proposal on a slip of paper and wrapping it. Choose the nicest wrapping paper you can afford, but do not opt to wrap the slip of paper by itself; such a thing would look suspicious, even cheap. Place the paper inside a large box, and when they ask if it is something they wished for, keep an air of mystery about it; their reaction when they finally see what it is will no doubt be priceless, a moment to share for years to come.
Mistakes To Avoid
As with anything else, there are things you should avoid thinking and doing when it comes to the big moment.
- Do not put the engagement ring in food; not only is this unsanitary, but they may never realize that the ring is even there. The ring could be accidentally swallowed at worst, and covered in whatever it was sitting in prior at best; few things could kill a romantic mood quicker.
- Do not choose a place or activity that completely clashes with your fiancé-to-be’s interests. For instance, if they do not care for sports, do not take them to a football game to propose. If fish is their least favorite food, a seafood restaurant would not be the most ideal location. Think about them first, and not just what you believe would make the coolest story to tell family and friends later.
- Do not believe that marriage can fix suffering or dead relationships. Proposing to them is not going to suddenly make life much better and happier; nowhere is that guaranteed. Never take this theory to heart, as it can only lead to heartache.
- Do not make the occasion impersonal. While writing a letter by hand works, writing an email or text message does not. Doing this will only make it seem like you are playing a joke; that you are not taking it seriously. If you will not be bothered to put more thought and work into it, how will they know that you will take the marriage seriously?