Saying Yes to a Positive Life
You have decided that now is the time to start attracting positive people and positive influences in your life. This is a wonderful step you have made to improve your life as these positive influences can bring about positive experiences and happiness. Surrounding yourself with positivity is easier than you might think. However, society has conditioned us to believe there will always be hardships and negative people we just have to deal with it. This informative guide will strive to show you how to bring in those positive influences effortlessly and start removing negativity from your life. You will be on your way to having positive relationships with those around you and being surrounded in a positive environment that is beneficial to your wellbeing.
- Quiet time to reflect and write
- Willingness to explore positivity
What does it look like?
You may be wondering what exactly it looks like to have positive people in your life and be surrounded by positive influences. What it means is choosing relationships with people who do not carry their baggage around with them. They live free, happy and inhibited. When you are with these people, you laugh, you smile and engage in conversations that make the both of you happy. They are the type of person that wears their heart on their sleeve and find joy in helping others. They also take the time to give back to themselves and honor who they are and renew their spirit in the process. They have no need to put down others to make themselves feel better because their happiness comes from within. When you are with them you may sense a peace that radiates from them and from within you as well. They have such a positive effect on others that you may walk away with a smile on your face, thinking about what a nice conversation and person they are.
Positive influences can also be people, but they are so much more. Positive influences refer to the environment that surrounds you. It can be everything, from the neighborhood or community you live in, the type of places you hang out in for recreation, your job environment and any other contact you have with the outside world. It can even be the online community you participate in through social networks, email and instant messaging. You know you are living with positive influences when the thought of that community or environment makes you happy. You do not feel anxiety when you think about going into work and drudging through another day just to make a dollar. You don’t leave angry or depressed when you leave your favorite hangout. You deserve to be living in bliss and associating yourself with influences that will make you feel happy at the end of the day.
How Positive People and Influences Affect Your Life
While it may seem that positive people and influences only affect you in the moment you are around these people or certain environments, it is actually so much more. The positivity and the happiness will actually spread to every aspect of your life. We can imagine an example where you are working with coworkers who are friendly, open and work well with you. Even if it might not be your dream job, working with such nice people can actually boost your mood and help you enjoy being at work. You will go home with a sense of pride and accomplishment. You won’t feel as tired and will feel in an engaging and happy mood. This spreads to your home life where you come home to your spouse and kids and actually look forward to spending time with them. They sense your presence as soon as you walk in the door and it is a positive one. Your kids and spouse will want to be around you and dinner time becomes enjoyable rather than stressful. The next day you wake up refreshed and willing to have another positive day. If you are single, you will have a sense of peace and joy to you that will work as a magnet to attract others to you, perhaps even a romantic relationship. You can attract so many more positive relationships and influences in your life, and it all starts with the people and environments already around you.
In order to talk about how to attract positive people and influences in our lives, we must first look at the negativity. It’s probable that you can look around at the people in your life and identify who is a constant source of negativity. They might be mean, rude, cold or even depressed. All these personas can suck the energy from you if you spend your time with them. Do you notice that there are some friends that embody a negative attitude all the time? When you are with them, they complain about everything, they probably gossip a lot and talk about how bad their life is going. You spend your energy complimenting them, reassuring them and trying to make them feel better. You may even participate in their rantings about life and how horrible it is. You can get sucked into their feeling that life will never go your way and might participate in the latest gossip, putting others down to make yourselves feel better. Does this type of person remind you of anyone in your life? If so, they are bringing you down and you may not even realize it!
Sometimes it just feels easier to be negative and complain. This will never make you happy and it will never make your friend happy either. The first thing you need to determine is what your relationship with this person is. If all your relationship gives is a “good” time of gossip and complaining, then this type of relationship should be cut off if possible. However, not every relationship is so easy to leave. We have friends we’ve had for years and mean something to us. We have family members who will always be related to us and there is no leaving their side. So what can you do in these situations? Should you just tell them to leave you alone and stop talking to them? The shortest answer is no. You can absolutely have a relationship with that person, however, it might look a lot different than what you are used to.
It begins by setting boundaries with this person. Only you know what boundaries you can create with this person. Do they call you up every time something bad is going wrong and expect you to fix it? In this case, you will need to have a heart to heart with them and let them know that while you wish for the best for them, you cannot always be the one to fix their problems. This might hurt them quite a lot and even anger them, but remember this is something they need to work on. Not you. It is time to give time, love and positive energy back to yourself and this relationship is not helping that. You can still love them, talk with them in a positive manner, but do not engage in negative conversations with them. As soon as you feel one coming on, direct the conversation to something more positive or neutral. This may be very confusing for them at first, but eventually they will get the hint that you have no interest in participating in a conversation wallowing in self-pity or putting down others.
When it comes to negative influences, there are a number of factors that can create a negative environment. Perhaps you hate your job or the co-workers you work with. This can cause depression and anxiety. Or maybe the places you hang out in leave you feeling drained. If you hang out in the bar hoping for a chance of connection with someone else, you will often leave disappointed and lonely. Surrounding yourself with negative places will only result in making you feel negative as well. Sometimes, though, we must be somewhere we don’t want to be, such as a place of employment. So what can be done in these moments? That is when gratitude comes in.
There will always be negative people and negative things in your life that you do not enjoy as long as you focus on that negativity. The opposite of resentment and dissatisfaction is gratitude. You have the power to turn any negative situation or relationship into a positive one, and this is through the power of gratitude. When we are grateful for something in our life, we attract more of those positive aspects to ourselves. The same rings true about negative ones. Therefore, we should be focusing on all the positive things going on in our lives. Say you have a spouse who is always in a bad mood after work and doesn’t treat you the way you thought married life would be. Stop and think about all the good things about that marriage. Do you like the way he makes you breakfast on the weekends to show he loves you? Do you enjoy when she rubs your shoulders after a long day of work? How about all the effort he or she makes with making sure the kids are healthy and loved? Concentrate on those. Write them down and really let yourself feel grateful for these acts. The more you feel grateful for these acts and express your gratitude to them, the happier you will feel and your relationship will slowly strengthen.
The same goes for any type of relationship or situation. If you hate your job, write down all the things you are grateful for. They don’t have to be enormous. They can be something as simple, yet as wonderful as having enough money to pay the bills and be fed each month. It can be that you enjoy the scenic route to work and have 15 minutes to enjoy your favorite music on the way to work or on the way home. No matter what it is, write it down.
Write as many gratitudes for your life down on paper. Some find it most useful to keep a journal and each night before bed or upon waking in the morning, writing down what you are grateful for in your life. Your list doesn’t have to be long. Write five each day and you will start to see just how many positive things you really have in your life, including people and influences. You can even write these down on sticky notes and post around your house to remind yourself of good things happening in your life.
Change Begins With You!
Did you know that attracting positive people and positive influences in your life begins with YOU? It really does. You are like a magnetic force attracting what you put out into the world. Do you think anyone really wants to be around you if you are always miserable or taking out your problems to the world? They don’t. But when they see a genuine smile on your face and see how you handle life with love and happiness, positive people are going to want to be around you, all the time. And this will create positive influences in your life as well. So if you are not already happy with who you are as a person, you will not be happy with someone else. No one can make you happy. Sure they can influence you and can be an inspiration in your life, but you are the greatest determiner of your own happiness. No one else holds that power besides you, so take advantage of it and make yourself happy.
It might be difficult for you to really know what makes you happy. You might have been attracted to this article, thinking that being around happy people will be the problem solver in creating your happiness. If that is your core belief, then you will be truly disappointed. This is not discounting how important it is to surround yourself with positive people, but you must realize that you must not rely on others for your own true happiness. You might have an ideal image of what a happy person looks like and want to meet that person. Guess what, maybe that person is actually your ideal YOU. Think about it for awhile and decide if you are seeking someone to make you happy or if you want to be happy first and then meet like-minded people.
Creating Your Happiness List
So how do you determine what makes you happy? It begins with a list. Take out your gratitude journal and dedicate a whole section to exploring your likes. Ask yourself “What makes me happy?” This may seem like a full-loaded question when you ask it to yourself, but it doesn’t have to be. It probably doesn’t even require hard thinking. Just write whatever comes to your mind at the moment. Your list might look something like this, but should be unique to your own interests:
Things that make me happy include
- Rocky Road Ice cream
- Bubble baths
- My child’s laughter
- A mid-afternoon nap
- A soft kiss
- Playing board games
- A warm embrace
- Tending to my garden
- Cooking a home-cooked meal with someone I love
- Watching a good sports game
- Walking my dog in the park
- Painting my toenails red
- Reading a good mystery novel
- Iced tea on a hot day
- Playing in the dirt
- A funny movie
- Dancing when nobody is watching
- Lavender lotion
- The fresh smell of clean laundry
- Having coffee with a friend
- Bird watching
- My favorite running shoes
The list can go on and on, and it should. Sit there and keep writing to your heart’s content. Be sure to keep several pages free in your journal so you can add to it whenever you participate in something else that gives you joy or you remember something else that makes you happy. Even if you have never done it, but think you would enjoy it, write it down. Notice that the list not only lists outside influences that make them happy, but it also lists things the person can do on their home to be happy. The point of this exercise is to identify what makes you happy, gives you happiness when writing it and gives you ideas on what to participate more in to bring your level of happiness up. If negativity starts to creep in at any time, your list can serve as a tool to remind yourself of something you can do to turn that negativity around.
As you start living a life of joy, you will begin meeting others who are also living lives of joy. You might be walking your dog through the park when you run into another dog owner who is also doing something that they enjoy. Talking about your interests with others will invite others to share in their interests as well. Even if you might have different interests, you may both notice you have a positive energy and want to hang out anyway. You just might find a new friend and create new positive relationships in your life. You may even be introduced to new positive influences that you didn’t realize would bring you joy until you were around them. As long as you are living the life you have actively and joyously created for yourself, the positive people and influences are bound to follow.
Once your life of happiness and being surrounded by positive people and positive influences comes into fruition, you must continue to stay positive to keep them around. It may seem like it’s a lot of hard work to be positive all the time, but you will see that it’s actually not. When you are happy, you will want to remain happy and focus your attention on remaining that way. With the use of your gratitude journal and happiness list, you will always be reminded and aware of things going right in your life and know where to turn to boost your mood. This is one of the best resources you have for yourself to start feeling the joy in life. You can carry your journal around with you and write in it on a regular basis.
What you may notice is that situations and people that were once perceived as negative have either been eliminated from your life or changed for the better. You’ve probably heard the saying that “Misery loves company”. As soon as those negative naysayers start seeing how positive you are, it is likely that they won’t want to be around you anymore. Try not to take this personal. Instead, think of it as a positive thing. You are living a life that is free, that is happy and being alive feels so good. Think about how you used to feel when you were with those negative people, sucking the energy from you, leaving you feeling sad or disappointed with life. You have to make the active choice to be positive. Talk with others about your journey and connect with others with similar aspirations in life. You may also see relationships changing for the better. You have been a positive influence in their life and your gratitude for them has evolved into something greater.
What you will start to see is that you are surrounded by positive people everywhere you go, from the grocery store to your place of employment. You just might have never noticed them before because you were looking through the lens of sadness, frustration or anger. Putting on a lens of positivity will feel so good that you will never want to go back to that place of negativity ever again. Best of all, you will finally have attained your original goal of attracting positive people and positive influences into your life. You are equipped with all the tools ready to start today and this way of feeling can last a lifetime.